Sadly, it took the death of my good friend Monty Oum for me to take the plunge and paint. It was a little thought that first popped into my head about a week after his passing. Soon the thought grew, and it became almost a need to paint. My fingers twitched with the longing. I couldn't sleep at night as I "painted" in my head.
Finally, with the aid of money from my very supportive man, I found a great price on a start up painters kit and ordered it. Yay Amazon.com! It came with a small easel, paints, a ton of brushes, and some canvases.
I'll admit that I have NO clue what I'm doing when it comes to painting. I'm learning and experimenting and trying to find my style. I also want to become good enough to sell my work. To pay my fiance back for the money he's managed to scrounge up for my art supplies. He knows I need to do this. So he sacrifices for me.
I also want to get good enough to paint an interpretation of an image that Monty made for me. A personal image that I hold dear to my heart. The meaning behind the image and his thoughtfulness still brings tears to my eyes. For me, creating, as he pushed us all to do, is my tribute to him. My way to honor him. And it calms me!
Monty, I'm sorry it took you passing to get me to paint. I can you in my head saying "Life is short, if you want to paint, fucking paint man!" So I do. I miss you. But I will make beautiful things out of this.
Speaking of Monty, I'm having a hard time mourning. I have no closure. I don't know what happened and how it happened. As close as we were, I was not close with his family that remains. So I get nada. And no closure makes it hard to let go. But I'll have to. I'll paint it out of my system.
In other news, I see a new doctor on Monday. We will hopefully get a confirmation on my diagnosis of fibromyalgia and start looking into treatment. Fingers crossed. Sometimes, I can't paint because of the pain and my easel is so small that I must hunch over it on the floor. Not good for someone in constant pain. I'll let you all know how it goes.
Here's a few of my paintings so far. Keep in mind, I've only been doing this about 2 weeks now and still learning!
Speaking without bias...these are much better than just about anything I've ever painted whenever I dared to make an attempt at it. But then I'm the sort of person who would've quit after the two weeks if I wasn't good at it right away, so there's that too. XD
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Monty (aside from some of his work) but wherever he is and whatever he's doing he'll see your efforts and feel your sentiments toward him. I think we all handle loss like that differently, but it's good that you're facing it. Channelling your grief in to something new and different, something positive, is a good step and there's no "time limit" for how long or how little you should feel grief for.
Second and third paintings are my picks.