It's a little better

Overall, I have to say that I am doing better than I was 6 months ago. My physical health has stabilized and with it, the mental health has too.

I think it started with a juice cleanse. Well, I don't have a juicer so it was more like a smoothie cleanse. Just 3 days. But I noticed that I wasn't nauseous once the whole 3 days. I did experience some bad withdrawal symptoms tho! The no caffeine, no artificial sugar, no alcohol thing was rough. But I got through it. Even now, months later, I don't drink much alcohol and don't drink soda all day. I have one coffee here and there, but mostly tea instead.

Unfortunately, the nausea came back. And my all over body aches never left. But Christmas put me in a better mood and sort of re-energized me so I could face my daily physical symptoms. I really was feeling drained and burnt out. The panic attacks were unbearable. Since Christmas is my favorite holiday, I was waking up cheery even tho I was ill and in pain. In fact, I was facing the cold/flu from hell! But I didn't care, I had to decorate and bake and cook and manage to put a few gifts under the tree on a very tiny budget.

Now that the holidays are over, I wonder if I'll slip back into a dreary mood. I hope not. And I try not to think too much about it. I still have a fever on and off, and a bad cough with chest pain. I need to see a doctor but I switched doctors and he doesn't see new patients right away. I've been waiting a month already and now just have 2 weeks to go before my appointment. I've had a cold since Thanksgiving so what's another 2 weeks, right?

I also still have my panic attacks each time I go out to run errands. My old doctor stopping refilling my Xanax and anti nausea meds (which is why I changed doctors because his office didn't even call me to tell me why they stopped my meds). So I've been facing the regular panic attacks with the pills and the thought alone is enough to cause an attack. I used to at least feel safe in knowing that if I needed it, the pill was there. Not that I want to be dependent on the medication. But it sure was nice to have it as a security blanket.

Money is even tighter than it used to be. But we'll figure something out somehow. I have a bit more faith right now. I believe we'll muddle through and eventually these trials will pass.

I do have another health concern that has popped up. Swollen and numb hands and feet when I wake up. It's a little scary. But it could be nothing. We'll see!