Hi, I'm kedralynn

Hi, I'm Kedralynn. I'm the bipolar part of Amber. I like to listen to depressing music from the past and remember. I also really like to let loose and have a good time. I don't think about consequences and just live in the moment. I am danger, sadness and liveliness rolled into one. I drink and dance and love sex. I drive fast and sing out loud. I cry at random times and remember what it feels like to run a blade across my skin. I am what she tries to hide. And yet, I am her inspiration. I am her worst fears, and also her greatest hopes. I am the super highs. The good times buried in a million mistakes. I also made these mistakes, but I don't care much for regret.

No, I do not have two personalities. Kedralynn is not a separate entity acting on her own. But she is the bipolar me. The disease. The good and the bad of it. The magic and the mystery. Because of the dangers of the highs, I try to avoid them. I try to avoid the mood that is "Kedralynn." But she's been making an appearance more and more lately. Random tears multiple times a day, followed by dancing the cha cha in heels across the kitchen, while I make dinner. For her, the world sparkles. Or it's cased in darkness. And often, the idea of the world sparkling, makes the danger of the darkness forgettable. Kedralynn is a temptation. And she's hard to ignore sometimes...