I gotta say that losing a friend to a freak accidental death at such a young age really makes you stop and think about your life. Life is short. And sure, I sank into a depression over the loss. But I also know that at some point, I need to kick my own ass and get my shit together. Get my health on track. Get back into my photography. Try to fight all my phobias and anxieties and live my life. Because who knows when it might suddenly end.
Sure, this is easier said that done. My physical illness makes daily life difficult. The pain can be so bad sometimes that I can't stand or walk. The nausea is there at all times. So enjoying food, enjoying going out, its all so hard. Toss in a good panic attack and it's a wonder I get anything done at all!
But there are good days. Days when the pain is dull and the nausea is tolerable. And the anxiety takes a little break. I love those days. I feel almost normal on those days. It's nice to forget my physical and mental issues and just enjoy a moment here and there. We all need more moments to enjoy.
The reflection on my life has shown me this. That I need to embrace and enjoy the little things. The little victories. The days when I'm feeling ok.
And who knows, maybe someday I'll be feeling more than ok. I'll be feeling great!
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