Monday, January 13, 2014

Things I can't/don't do because of my phobia

In no particular order, things I can't or won't deal with due to my phobia of vomit and vomiting.

- Go to parties, bars, clubs, ect. I pretty much avoid places where there will be heavy drinking. Because people tend to drink too much and throw up! I have never drank till I threw up. For obvious reasons. I briefly lived in a party house where drinking till you puke was a daily thing. I couldn't handle it. The bathrooms were always full of people throwing up. So I actually used to pee outside. I felt it was cleaner!

- Have kids. Not that I'm in a place to have them anyway. But the fear of morning sickness and having a child with the stomach flu is enough to scare me away from the idea of motherhood. Everyone says I'd make a wonderful mother. And I probably would, until they got sick. Then I'd be running out the door!

- I have gone to the emergency before. But I'd rather not. Again, sick people, throwing up. Can't handle that. Same with dr waiting rooms. I usually take someone with me who will wait in the room for me and I stay out in the parking lot.

- Drugs. Obviously this is a good thing to avoid. But my reason wasn't because they are wrong. But because I feared throwing up. Someone told me that you're supposed to throw up with some drugs. Why?!

- Certain medical procedures and medications. I avoid pretty much anything that "may" cause vomiting. No thank you!

- Working. I did it for a little bit. In a store. And who knew that customers threw up so often in stores?! It's crazy. If you feel sick, stay home!

- Cleaning when my pets throw up. I throw a towel over that crap and leave it for my boyfriend to clean. I can't even look at it. Actually, I've gotten wise and when I know my dog is feeling nauseous, I throw garbage bags around the floor so clean up involves just wrapping it up and taking it outside.

- Public transportation. People get motion sickness. I can not be trapped on a bus or something with someone puking. Flying on a plane is definitely not happening.

- School. I HATED being forced to go to school when I was younger. Too many kids throwing up! Even in high school! Again, stay home! When I did witness such a thing, I'd go home feeling sick myself and stay home for days. Now as an adult, I don't have faith that others know any better so I never did attend college other than online.

- Eating questionable food. Be it something new I've never tried, or chicken cooked by someone I don't really know or a place I don't trust. No food poisoning for me thanks!

- Watching certain movies. Anything with a vomit scene will send me running. I often have to look up a questionable movie to see first if there's such in a scene in it before watching it. If a tv show seems to be leading towards a possible vomit scene, I close my eyes and cover my ears.

- Carnival rides. No roller coasters or things that spin or go upside down. I don't want to get sick and really really don't want to someone to get sick on me!

I'm probably missing out on a lot due to this phobia. But it runs my life. It has since I was a little girl. In fact, I have yet to pinpoint the exact moment when vomiting became the end all. When it turned into a traumatic event that led me to never want to deal with it again. But the irrational fear is there. And I wonder if it'll ever go away...

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