For those of you who are actually following the story, I suffer from Chronic Illness. And I'm not talking about the bipolar disorder or the panic attacks. Physical illness that leaves me too sick to work. To do much of anything really. I am nauseous 24/7. My bones ache in places I never knew possible. And yes, it's embarrassing, but also bad diarrhea. I faint from a lack of certain vitamins because my body can't get nutrients when you throw everything up. I also suffer from exhaustion (I just fall asleep randomly and was NEVER able to nap before due to the bipolar disorder), black outs and memory loss. I can not drive a car as it's unsafe in case these things happen behind the wheel.
So I finally saw a specialist yesterday. Why has it taken me 3 years to see one? Because I lost my health insurance when I lost my job. And I lost my job because you can't work and keep running to the bathroom.
I so far have done 3 separate blood tests (7 vials of blood taken each time), 3 different stool tests, and had x-rays. Now lined up is an endoscopy, a colonoscopy and an ultrasound.
Hopefully at least one of those tests tells us what's wrong. Now of course, I am nervous about these procedures. But they must be done. So I can get better. For 3 years, I've been living half a life. I want the whole one back. I want to work and socialize and be productive. I want to give back to society again.
It's going to a be a long hard road folks.
For those of you sending me good thoughts, money for my psychiatric care (that my free health insurance refuses to cover) and those of you commenting, sharing and emailing, I thank you. I will always thank you.
When this is all done, we need to celebrate!
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